Most Memorable Moments

1 December 2009 First session At C&T Party Palace
GM: "roll the dice!"
player: "why?..."
GM: "because I tell you so !"

- While waiting for an important meeting with Huldrak, Alast listen to a clic coming from the door. He starts to inspect the door and get it slammed on his head. Falling on the floor.

- Remembering the story so far in a personal meeting with a player while at the Huldrak Manor, the "benefactor" of this adventure this heroes just interrupted me asking:
"Huldrak? Who's that guy?"

- Telling some more details about the dark lords and the Drakkarims, here's the answer of a player:
"Draka-who?"

- while describing the guests of the Tavern of Tyso as being mariners from all over Magnamund a player responded "Magna-what?"

12 December 2009  session At C&T Party Palace
- Upon arriving at the shores of the island the whole party erupts in agitation, commanding the sailors to "set anchor ! lower the side boat!" quickly they all gather and climb down the reeling into the tiny embarcation. They are about to start rowing towards the shore when someone suddenly realizes: "wait a minute... are we actually at the correct side of the island?". of course it was not the case.

- while exploring a potentially dangerous area - an open plain without any possibility to cover from an eventual ambush emanating from nearby ruins, some members of the party decide it's the perfect time and place for having a pic-nic

- Looking at a altar the Magician Lightning rolls a dice. He would be able to roll a 12, enough to find one of the clues the GM planted all over the place for them to discover their first crypt. But all the planning went down with a Natural 20. after rolling down the red carpet for the destruction of the evil altar the floor collapsed in front of the Mage and the Pirate. Standing there.
Lightning though it wasn't enough to have saved the day with the altar destruction, probably taking off one evil source in Magnamund, he wanted also to raid the Crypt underneath as he was a strong barbarian. No, no, no, no! I can't allow that as a GM. So roll both a dice. The pirate got easily there. Dexterity and roll were quite enough. But the Mage... rolled a natural 1. An epic fail! Ok... one leg broken, one laumpsur potion destroyed (350gc just vanished) and a D4 of damage. 3? Dammit you're dying magician, and the thief pirate is just there looting you. Will he be able to give you the correct potion in time? Or will he'll finish you off?

GM [pointing at the sketch of the area on the gaming table]: ok, errm.. whose figurine is that ?
Player: it's a dice

Lightning: I bought around 10 potions.
GM: what potions ?
Lightning: I don't know, the cheap ones.
Gus: show me your backpack.
GM: you can't possibly have 10 potions, you never had enough money to buy them...
Gus[checking the backpack]: actually, I see he has bought 10 potion vials... *empty* ones.

GM: a skeleton warrior suddenly rises from the floor 20 meters in front of you ...
Melchior: I take the initiative ! I aim and I shoot at him
GM: well, as the corridor is 2 meters wide and there are 3 team-members 5 meters in front of you - and one is a really fat mage - those three should roll a dice while I switch to bullet time.


Erleothir: I attack the skeleton ! [rolls dice] oh. 1.
GM: critical miss, roll again.
Erleothir[rolling dice]: arg. 20.
GM: critical hit. well, you attack the skeleton in front of you but instead of hitting him, you manage to strike your broadsword in the shoulder of your team-member Griselda who is standing *behind* you, killing her instantly. as she falls back, your sword is still stuck in her shoulder. you are unarmed and unharmed...

Gus: I punch Alast in the face trying to make him unconscious with an uppercut.
Alast: wait .. what ?
GM: you can't, you're a dwarf... you hit him much lower

8 January 2010  session At C&T Party Palace
The sound of a big bird echoed in the desert land. Immediately Griselda proudly used her scouting skills.
GM: Ok... Where are you now?
Griselda: here, in this direction...
GM: So... you manage to see the boat.
Griselda: And the sound, I see something?
GM: It came from another direction...

GM: ok who's getting in the boat ?
4 people raise hands
GM: good, who's going to row ?
all suddenly pull their hands down. except for the knight, suddenly realizing he's just missed something

Gus: is the scroll magical ?
Lightning: yes
GM: huh ??
Gus: oh, is it same kind of magic as in the graveyard?
Lightning: yes
GM: wait... what ? damn!
Lightning: errmm I mean no
GM [hides behind his paper wall]
Gus: soooo ? what ?
Lightning: actually I don't know
Gus ok. I'm lost.

GM: Lightning is turning pale.
Team: please not again
Lightning: I'm seasick
Team: and on the island you were sea sick too ?
Lightning: naaaayy... earth sick
Team: and in the tunnel to the crypt, you were..
Lightning: Tunnelsick
Team: and in Huldrak's mansion?
Lightning: castle-sick obviously

Alast: remove the balls from the raccoon
Gus: you mean the bullet ?
Alast: no i mean the balls
Griselda: gendercheck !
GM: It's a female.. I think someone is missing the point here...

Leo: I start walking back towards the boat
GM: ok, roll
Leo: ? why?
GM: why not ?
Leo: 1
GM: ooooh. Yout trip over a stone and faceplant on the ground. This leaves some bleeding mark on your face so that you now look like you actually contributed in the battle against Marghal

Lightning: best thing would be to return to [tries to remember the name of the NPC questgiver] ... ermm.. Goldorak (!)

Huldurak. Haldruk. Huldruk. Haldrak. [GM getting annoyed]: IT'S HULDRAK !! [5 Minutes later] GM: Guldrak turns around and..... *sigh*

21 of May at 2010 session At C&T Party Palace
GM:the staff of the mage is rolling across the room
Leo: I grab it and try to stick it into ermm ... his ... ermmm

GM: someone need to roll a d100
Leo: ok, on it..
Team: NOOOOO

GM: it is starting to rain, the visibility goes down to 50% - for those who don't know what I mean: you can not see as far away over the ocean
Griselda: we don't care. we're below deck anyway

Gus: well Mulchanor, if you don't have anything better to do, could you please clean my gun ?
Alast [mumbling]: this is so gay...

When taking a shower on the boat's deck, Mulchanor untie Griselda top leaving her half naked to the eye of the sailors. Surprisingly, it was Christelle whom blushed

[during the non-playing time after enjoying lunch at Gus' place]
Jean-Pierre (aka Alast): errmmm, Gus, there is a huge gaping hole in the ceiling of your bathroom

Gus: "I'll check his pockets for anything unusual"
GM: "you find nothing"
Gus: "I check his body for specific tattoos"
GM: "nothing"
Gus: "I check for ....."
GM: "You will find nothing your dices can tell you!"

You just oned ! (Verb: one, oning, oned - act of dicing a one)

GM: You prepare to attack, you aim at the front ... (and I need some epic music now)

Gus: "at least I did not get hit by the exploding cannon."
Mulchanor: "what makes you think that?"
Gus [grinning]: "I did not had to roll a dice..."
GM[looking up from his papers]: OK, Gus, I want you to roll three dices.

Mulchanor [over the course of the game]: 16! 15! 18!
Leo [suddenly realizing he's using Leo's dices]: AARRG Stop stealing my good rolls !

GM: The Liganim is brandishing a rod
Gus: sorry a what ? [puzzled look, thinks a bit] aahhh you mean a club, right ?
GM: no, it's a rod... [makes a gesture describing how the Liganim is holding it]
Gus: hmm.. is it some kind of mace ?
GM: A ROD !! you know, magicians carry them sometimes
Gus: ooooooh allright, got it, it's a staff, isn't it ?
GM: NO, IT'S A .... screw that ! WHO'S NEXT ?

Alast: i hit the Giak with my Rapiere.. ohh 17 !
GM: Your Rapiere just pierced through his heart and he drops dead on the ground
Alast: good but [looks up his character sheet] i used sneak attack
GM: your were facing each other, you can't....
Alast: [points on his character sheet] yes I can, and it gives me +1d6 on ...
GM: ok fine, but the Giak is dead anyway.
Alast: ... and I have +1 on strength and....
GM: The. Giak. Is. Dead.
Alast: ... besides I have an initiative of +3...
GM: You're not understanding [interrupts himself, thinks shortly] OK, the Giak is REALLY dead, EXTREMELY dead, DEADER than dead. Got it ? NEXT !

GM: Leo, you notice two blond mariners running up the stairs really fast
Leo: are they muscular ?
Team: wait.. what ?

Griselda: I go for the pumps to try to get the water away.
GM: so what do you do ?
Griselda: errmm.. I'm pumping for the guys
GM[grinning]: interesting... can you roleplay this please ?

Alast: I run down the stairs and...
GM[interrupting]: roll a dice
Alast: damn... 4!
GM: you miss a step.
Alast: aaaand where am I now ?
GM: Gravity always goes downwards...

Imagine all players sitting around the table, the fight is particularly epic, things are exploding and flying around, all are listening at the descriptions following every word of the game master and depicting the situation in their head while a soundtrack like "E.S. Posthums - Unstoppable" runs in the background. Suddenly all is interrupted by Christian and Gus staring at Peter while he is crumbling the paper of a "Kinder Überraschung", Christelle looks up and "HEY ! is he destroying my collection point?!"

Mulchanor [in the heat of the battle]: errmm let me stink...

Gus [roleplaying Lightning]: Quick ! get the girl down from that ship ! I'll invoke a [out of breath, his voice cracks] a waterblurpblll *gasp* to sink it....
Team: actually..... that was very pictographic

Griselda: to raise the morale of the mariners i start sing while using the pumps
GM: ok, please, feel free...
Griselda: wha.. now ?
GM: go on, it's roleplay...
Griselda[thinks a bit, and start singing on the tune of Robbie Williams - Rock DJ] :
I don't wanna pump / right now,
but i have to do it / all day,
com on guys let's go on
lets pump it all it al out and save / the boat
Team cheers and claps: another !
Griselda: [giggles and goes on with another song, this time on the tune of Robbie Williams - She's the One]
we were here in a boat
about to sink a load
but if work together
maye we can save our lives - save our lives.


24th April 2010 Park Session
We had some "Gummibärchen" representing people in the city of Ljuk.
GM: The people are now going away from you
Alast: Can I eat them?

With some frenchies in the group, it can always happen that some french lines slip where english language is requested
GM: Qu'est-ce qu'est ton endurance?
Lightning: Endurance? en anglais?

GM's aren't perfect!
Gus: I rolled a 19
GM: for what?
Gus: I don't know, you told me to roll a dice

GM [as Rimaroh]: Rise know Knight Erleothir
Griselda: he's not a knight ?
Gus: you're not a knight ?
Alast: who's not a knight ?
Erleothir: *sigh*

while helping a refugee child
Erleothir: don't worry Pierrec, we will find a solution... Guards! I want you to ...
Alast[interrupting]: Kill that boy !

GM [as Franklin]: Now listen to me very carefully...
Erleothir [interrupting]: .. I shall say this only once

Returning line

GM: Roll a dice

Alast: A D20?

All: IT IS ALWAYS A D20

Leo: I'm going up deck

M: Euhm it is going up deck

Leo: *sigh* I'm going up duck again

Mulchanor: I shoot at a group of Giaks.

GM: You hit a dead corpse. (maybe you want to shoot living targets next time?)

after another sickness attack and as the situation is about to get awry
Alast: Stand back ! I have a pot of shit as weapon.

and now for some out-of-context madness
GM: It can be a weapon if you can erect it...

GM: You see your fightmate jump onto the ship. Then a big fireball came by and you don't see your mate anymore

        Would you jump onto that ship if you were not an American?

Mulchanor: I shoot at those Giaks

GM: You shoot a hole in the deck.

Mulchanor: I missed again? A hole in the deck?

Gus: But it is an impressive hole...

Glad he did not oned again but still...
Leo: It's a 6

Alast: Hmm that's more than a 5

7th May 2010 C&T Party Palace session
Griselda: The barnak, baranak, nakabar (it is actually Baknar)

Griselda as Leo: Damn 1 euhm with -2 modifier that makes -1
Group: *couREROLLhg*

GM: you hit the Barnak
All: BAKNAR
GM: You all are getting me confused.

Mulchanor while walking from the back of the Kai temple to the front.
M: Is there a side door?
GM: No
M: Why not?
GM Because there is a back door...

Gus: It is better to blow than to bluff
GM: indeed it is (with a grin to Gus)
Gus: eehhrr Blow up, blow up, blow up!!!

M to Griselda: Woman, shut up
GM: You have just been "Dirked"

Gus: I shoot myself in the air...

While camping in the icy waste without any fire
GM: All are piled up to keep the heat in
Mulchanor: Hmm this only works if we get naked..

GM: no, I'm not mistaken, I'm the GM.

[slightly tired] GM: you have travelled a few kilometers and Alast is still riding the dogs when suddenly...
Team[interrupting]: Alast ! stop this bestiality immediatly ! no wonder we're not coming forward.
GM [facepalming]: DRIVING the dogs. kind of.. aaargg !

Alast: well that was great, today I learned to use my brain !
Team: uhu......

2nd of June 2010 C&T Party Palace session
Alast: I would like to ask Hulk (Alaki)

GM: You always fuck up my characters names. I need to go to GMA (Game master annonymous)

Alast: I check for traps, I have 17+4 concentrations + 5 ...(continues for 3 more mins)
GM: It's a normal trap door...

Gus: I take a crap here against the wall. I check the wall behind me.
GM: you found the door right behind you.
Gus: euhm guys, watch your step.

GM: The door opens (GM bends a kinder duplo that was representing the door)
Gus: You are so lucky that there are no more football stickers in there...

After successfully finding the Kai Lord "Dark Raven"
Mulchanor: I move behind the Dark Lord, er, Dark Raven.

GM [as Dark Raven]: it may seem a Nadziranim has emprisoned the leader of their folk...
Team: sorry ? a what-nazi ??



2nd July 2010 Erleothir's Mansion

Everyone stating his rolls
GM: errmmm what are you telling me those for ?
Team: [slightly annoyed] you just told us to make a roll ! what was that for ?
GM: Oooh right ! That was for something really cool. But I forgot what it was...

GM: HEY ! stop moving my NPCs around !

GM: You need to hide your weapons
Griselda: OK, we will do that, no problem
GM: HMM, I want to see you hide that spear *Wink wink*

Dorak: Ssst, you talk to much
Griselda: That is the first time I hear I talk to much

Standing in front of the office of the Brumalmarc.
GM: That is a big room
Mulchanor: Is there furniture in the room?
GM: Well all you see at the moment is a closed door...

GM: The gaoler throws you back in the cell and you friends notice you have have a big burned... er... a large burning... er... *arrg* a... SCAR ! on your neck.

Mulchanor: I'm getting my gun out of my pants and....
Team: eeewww

Griselda: it's the first time I hear I speak too much... Ingame I mean.

GM [getting tired]: yeah whatever, just roll a knife.

Gus: guys guys guys ! I found something out ! [everyone listens up] we can't get out of this cell. [dark stare at Gus]

Gus played for Alast and logically a few things didn't went as intended
Team: So, Gus, how are you going to explain to Alast that he has no weapons anymore?
Gus: hmm, to be honest I'm more preoccupied on how to explain him that he has no underwear anymore...

GM: Roll a dice
Gustavius: A Nine
GM: It was to Eleothir

Griselda: Yay I'm almost whole again.
Mulchanor: I see a little ear growing back

31st of July 2010 Gustavius Manor

On the way from Erfurt to Jena comming to a standstill in a traffic jam.
Alast: How fast are we driving at the moment?
Mulchanor: Euhm. 0 km/h.

Mulchanor: I think that will have some consequentidents.

On the lyrics of Bob Marley:
GM: I shot the Telco
Mulchanor: But I did not shoot the Brumalmarc.

Mother of Gus passing by to grab some stuff: There is a looser running loose outside of the house.
It was Alast spraypainting some figurines for the game.

GM: New skill for the dwarves. Blinking gun.. no.. dwarf. arg, I mean blinding shot.

On the way back to Erfurt in the car after a pause of silence...

Mulchanor: Everybody fallen a sleep?
Griselda: euh? oh no
GM: Playing to wake up
1 minute later.
Alast: Huh, someone said something?

not a quote but still a memorable move:
Gus opens the fridge to grab a beer for himself but Mulchanor manages to grab the bottle midmovement stating: whoa, great service here

3rd September 2010 K&C Party Palace
Odd dialogues
Alast: Can I go back in your horse?
Erleothir: Always! Come!
Gustavius: I'm in the middle, right?

Erleothir: I can ride two hours more
Griselda: I'm satisfied

22cd October 2010 First session At Alach Irish Pub AKA Erleothir's Castle
Shortly after getting on the ship and after an argument with the pirate.
The annoyed Griselda ask him: Dont you have something better things to do?!!!
Alast: Not at all
Griselda: Whatever, Piss off
Alast: No, it would make you happy.

Erleothir: Do you want to be on top?
Griselda: I'll be on top.
Erleothir: That's better, you are more agile.
   They were in fact talking about who would get the upper bed..._______________You naugthy readers.

While the battle was slowly starting, the most trained ear a wistheling sound. An arrow just hit a dwarf in his homoplate.
Erleothir: Nohhhhh!!!
Alast: We barely knew you.
gustavius: What was your name again.
Dwarf (GM): NPC nr3/15.

After the battle Jack aproaches Gustavius to take away the spear that was plunged in his body.
Jack: It's gonna hurt.
Gustavius: More?
Jack:...
Gustavius: [scream of pain]
Jack: Told you.

Erleothir ,on the morning after the battle, alone with Griselda, tries to explain to her what happend.
Player Griselda: So it's a private conversation.
Player Alast: With someone spying... But you don't know it.
Player Griselda: That's the point about spying.
Player Alast: Precisely.

The day after battle Jack calls everyone for breakfast.
Gustavius: Good, i have a hole in my stomach... eh wait!

Erleothir asked something, but had to prove himself first by drinking a second beer.
The real Erleothir was filled up with whiskey and after drinking “bottoms-up” (great role-play!)
- Now fellow knight, what were you asking?
- I honestly don’t remember (both ingame as well as real-life)

4th December 2010 Session At K&C party palace with Erleothir "Live!" via Skype

Alast: Excuse me
GM: Yes?
Alast:"Yawn"

Gustavius: They are 20 Dwarven bangs

After a long discussion Mulchanor asks Erleothir (on skype):
Mul: Do you have your two cents to give?
Erl: Say what? (he just woke up)

17th December 2010 Session At K&C party palace

Alukel: Stop eating my sandwiches !
Gustavius: Woups

Gustave: Putain je trouve pas le... (Gustave is annoyed while searching in the rule books and swears in french for the next consecutive two minutes)

GM: Roll a Dice.
Gus: A d20, I guess
GM: You!? Asking me that?

Erleothir charges his shield
*cling, cling, cling*
Alast: haven't you charged this thing already?
Gustave: Poum, and there goes the spring.
GM: I should make him roll each time he does that...

Griselda: Did you see a camp?
GM: No it's not "a camp" "it's The camp"
Yesnarel: a B camp?
GM: No not a bee Camp.

GM:The duplo is the Telchos
Griselda:If it's a duplo, it's a Telchos
Gustavius: Duplo, Telchos, makes sense
GM: And it rhymes ^^

7th Januari 2011 Epic Session At K&C party palace



Alast: Who can smell its direction?
GM: You all can. If you can smell it, you're not dead.

Mulchanor on the critical roll: Damn I forgot to roll for marksmanship
GM: Come on they are all dead
All: Yeah don't do an Alast...

GM: You see Griselda laying on the floor, beaten up
Griselda: Oh come on, it is only a flesh wound... (She would die later on in the session, RIP my love...)

Griselda and Eleothir conspiring
GM: I saw you talk to eachother, that is not fair.
Griselda to Eleothir: So you wanted this chocolate right?

Eleothir after a non leathal blow
GM: She feels unconcious now

Alast looking a Giak in the face: I'm at point blank range right?
Eleothir: You backstab him?

After an epic part of the battle is done, Yesnarel comes out of the tree where he was hiding in to join.
All: HURRAY. GO YESNAREL

Griselda: I attack with a shiel-fa
GM: You have all these weapons hidden in your body?

GM: Reflexes you can use against something that falls from the floor...

GM: The anapheg kills the baknar oil...

Alast to Gustavius: Now you're so slow that you go backwards

GM: Roll a D10
Griselda: 11

Mulchanor[taking epic revenge on the Anapheg]: FOR. MY. WIIIFE ! ... darn, my pencil just broke.

Alast[while trying to grab a potion of Laumspur]: I check his backpack for poison.

GM: So, you see that Erleofrid is making a run for it
Erleothir: Huh ? you mean Eolfrid
Team to GM: Stop messing our names up !



More Randomness

GM: just to be sure, checking your allegiance
Mulchanor: I'm good
Griselda: I'm good as well.
Gus: I'm surprised

Erleothir: I've decided to call my horse... "whisperwind"
Team: soo... "fart", actually.

GM: Alast, I need you to roll 1d8
Alast [rolls]: woohoo 10 !

07-01-2011

Gus: I'm checking for places where the enemy could suprise us.
Mul: Aha, so you're doing a spot check

Alast: I go to the corpse of Lightning and say
Mul: HA HA (Nelson style)

GM: Check page 136, it's about horses
Gus while checking the page: Yeah, it is...

Alast: I'm not gonna backstab you, I don't have a dagger
Mul: I toss you a dagger

24-09
Alast in the middle of a fight: Can I backstab while standing in front of the enemy?

On the way to Jena coming to a standstill in a traffic jam.
Alast: How fast are we driving at the moment?
Mul who is driving: Euhm exactly 0 km/h

Gus: How does the barking sound?
GM: Like a dog, barking...

Griselda: I'm like a man but in a womans body
GM: I think that is called transvestite.

GM: It's the fort of the brothers of the faith (should have been brothers of the truth)

Alast: Stop!! I haven't told what I want to do in the bedroom

Leo: Kai lord, could you check my wrist? I can't hold my sword anymore (making the jerking off movement)

GM: Trying to open a note epicly, he rips the paper apart

Gus: We arrive at the Kai monestary?
Leo: Pff it is only a model...

Leo to GM: Hey, you have a hole in your gaming shirt
GM to Griselda: Hey, you gave me the bad one.
Mul: yeah yeah, your woman screwed it up with the washing

GM: You epicly evade him and so did your attacker
Alast: Huh? Explain that to me please
All: You missed...

GM: Roll a dice
Alast: A D20 ?
GM: No comment

Yesnarel [while Griseld is beeing buried]: may you rest in pieces... peace !

Yesnarel [actually a vegetarian]: I'll take a large plate of grilled MEAT !
Team : yyeeeaaaaah

GM[doing the muffled voices of a rescue team yelling far away]
Gus[trying to understand]: .. not .. there ?
GM[*sigh* does the voices again]
Leo: aaaahh, a ladder ?
GM[loosing patience, does the voices again]
Griselda (RIP): ooohhh ! in the water !
[all turn around to the river, the rescue team is just in front of them.]

[Gus got beaten up]
GM: your face is for now blueish with all the hematomes
Alast: ... just like a smurf

Yesnarel [prsenting himself ingame during a trial]: I come from .... how was that place called again ?

Alast [reading a paper the GM gave him]: what's that word starting with an 'S' ?
GM[staring at the note then back to Alast]: it's not an 'S' !

Gus: so, tell me, how many rooms do you have ?
Rameldin [quickly looking at the GM - the GM shows up 10 fingers]: we have five rooms.
Gus: just five rooms ? you sure ?
[GM gesticulating wildly to Rameldin]
Rameldin [getting the message]: ah no ! of course not, we have ... five ... hundred rooms.

Mulchanor: I'd like to talk to Remldin now
GM: It was the person you were already talking to for the last 15 minutes....

Mulchanor: I keep my wall to the back

Yesnarel[to the innkeeper, in a joyfull and relaxed tone]: Hello ! may it be possible to talk to Vashna please ?

07.05 - 09.05 RPC Cologne 2011

Team[in the car, overtaking another car on the highway]: Row ! Row ! Row ! Row !

Gus is GM-ing a roleplaying book
Gus: you open the bag and find some food rations as well as a letter from your questgiver.
Team: I use waterspell on it.
Gus: you dissolved the message from your questgiver.

Gus: you are now travelling for a few hours through the unforgiving heat of the desert, time is of the essence if you want to reach the forgotten city before the ennemy
Christian: I use waterspell and start building a sandcastle.
Gus: wha... hmpff... ok, remove 2 endurance because you get a sunburn in the process

Gus: I can feel it, but I can not pull it out.
Christian: what the hell are you doing ?!?
Gus: a dice ! I'm trying to reach for the dice Jean-Pierre just lost under the sit !

Gus: you reach the wall of the city, the main gate has collapsed, you also see a side entrance at a guard tower.
Jean-Pierre: what are the walls made of ?
Gus: err... desert city, dried mud and sandstone.
[beat]
Jean-Pierre: sandstone you say ?
Gus: errr.. yeah.
[beat]
complete team (even Gus): I USE WATERSPELL TO MELT MY WAY THROUGH THE WALL!

Jean-Pierre [at the fair]: oh wow, the apple juice tastes much stronger today.

Team is testing a defense game at the fair
GM: Every round some orcs will spawn from all the sides, you are in the middle and have to survive 6 rounds, coordination is key to winning.
[all at the same time ]
Christian: I head towards that building over there
Gus: cool, let's spread out !
Michael: I run towards that pond in the opposite direction !
[beat while GM very slowly facepalms]

Gus: can I use AoE ?
GM: we use simplified rules here
Gus: ok, cool, I use AoE on those 2 targets, or actually no, on those 3.
GM: we. use. simplified. rules. that means NO !

Gus: oh nice ! I use poisoned arrow, so it's a DoT
GM: SIMPLIFIED RULES ! also, you just failed a saving throw, you die. Here, have a box of souvenirs !

[cute Boot Babe distributing newspapers]
Jean-Pierre: I already have one.
Boot Babe [laugh in her eyes]: so, here, have another one.
Jean-Pierre: but I already have one
Boot Babe [smiling]: it's free, have one.
Jean-Pierre: but I don't need...
Christian and Gus: GET THE BLOODY NEWSPAPER ALREADY !

Christian [to Gus repeatedly loosing several battlemaps games]: stop being such a redshirt, that's not helping us ! 
Gus: I tried to kite...

[testing some boardgame]
GM: you're constantly fumbling with the dices... you must be Pen&Paper players, right ?
Christian and Gus: ^5 !

Repeated line: So, what's this "Einsamer Wolf" thing ?

[a pressurized gas tank for draft beer is fizzling]
Christian: FIRE IN THE HOLE !
Gus: errr...
Christian: why isn't anyone laughing ? FIRE IN THE ...
Gus: it's not funny around here for "some reason".
Christian: oh right ! and today is even the liberation of Moscow

12.8 2011 at the K&C Mansion

Erleothir: Ok, so we don’t have any weapons. Use your mouth as a weapon.

Draug: What!?!

Erleothir: I mean: use words as a weapon. (And stop thinking so foul!!!)

Gus as GM: Ok, so Mulchanor hears that someone was having sex this night and that you heard the voice of Jalfeera. The next morning, you all hear a cock go wheeee.

Group: WHAT!?!

Gus: a coq! Rooster (And stop thinking so foul!!!)

9.9.2011 at the K&C Mansion

·         Gustavius keeps referring the Broken Mast Inn as the Forsaken Inn. Last session around 5 times, this session again around 3 times. If you happen play Lord of the Rings Online, you know why

·          

      Draug (referring to the men in the store): “are they muscular?” (Erleothir laughing, payback time!)

·         

      Gus (GM): “This ship is so sleek and aerodynamic, compare it with a katana. If a katana was this ship, it would be a … a … katana” (Barif happily accepted this sentence)

·        

           During the whole session, Rameldin was distracted all the time because of a little spider OUTSIDE with closed windows. Imagine following order: “fear of spider, arachnophobia and after that comes Christelle’s fear of spiders! At one point, Yesnarel had enough, drew a picture of a spider on a piece of paper and taped it against the window, blocking the line of sight.  (Of course the spider moved soon after that, so we were at the start again)

·        

           Rameldin: “what’s the name of the ship?”

Gus and Leo at the same time: “it’s a prototype”

Rameldin: “Yes, but what name does it have?”

·        

            Draug would first be introduced as Squire Draug, however it sounded more like “Squirrel Draug”